Why It's Important to Teach Your Kids About Respect - and How to Do It!

The Benefits of respectfulness in a society are obvious. O, how our homes, schools, cities, and nation could be vastly improved if we all activated this one character trait on a daily basis!

As parents, we have a profound responsibility to instill this valuable trait in our children. Here are some of the ways it can benefit them and the people around them.

Reduction in conflict

When people treat each other respectfully, differences can be shared, discussed, and appreciated without becoming conflicts.

More productive handling of conflict

Respect is crucial to working through differences of perspective and the conflicts that sometimes result. When children learn to respect differing viewpoints and communicate their own thoughts respectfully, they are better equipped to resolve conflicts peacefully. This skill is invaluable in personal relationships, school, and future workplaces.

Protection from bullies

By teaching your children about respect, you equip them with the tools to recognize and combat bullying behavior. They will be more likely to stand up against bullies, support victims, and report instances of bullying.

Better treatment for all people

Treating others with respect and being curious rather than critical about the ways they are different can help children see and appreciate the beauty in all the different forms of humans God chose to create.

Team spirit

Whether in sports, academics, or anything else, a respectful person is an asset to a team. Employers value workers who demonstrate respect for colleagues, clients, and company values. By instilling a strong sense of respect in your children, you are helping them build a solid foundation for future success in their careers and personal lives as they become team members who lift others up and maximize a group’s diversity of talents and perspectives for optimal performance.

Correction of a self-centered mindset

Respect helps us share the spotlight with others and avoid the self-centeredness that leads to a lack of empathy and hinders relationships.

Improved ability to learn

A student who respects his teachers has a better relationship with them and a more receptive posture for learning.

Increase of self-respect

Respecting others and understanding that everyone on the planet is of great value makes a child aware of her own value.

What’s more, it’s a two-way street. Showing respect typically results in respectful treatment.

All of these are excellent reasons to teach your child about respect.

But, for Christian parents, the duty to train in this character trait extends beyond the personal and societal benefits. It goes to the core values of our faith.

Truthfully, the root of respect is love.

And Jesus himself told us that, apart from loving God, the greatest thing we can act on in this life is love for those around us.

Christian parents can teach their children valuable lessons about love through the lens of respect. When children learn to value and respect the opinions, feelings, and boundaries of others, they are better equipped to form and maintain positive relationships throughout their lives.

In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, we find a beautiful description of love, which includes patience, kindness, and not being self-seeking. These qualities are closely intertwined with respect and are vital in building strong, Christ-honoring relationships.

All people – those we like, those we don’t, those we agree with and those we don’t, those we easily enjoy, and those who make us uncomfortable – all are created in the image of God. They are of great value to him and “precious in his sight.”

Our treatment of every individual should reflect this. In all circumstances, we are called to live according to Philippians 2:3 (ESV) – Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others (ALL others) more significant than yourselves.

Every day brings us opportunities to apply this in our daily lives. There are countless ways you can teach children to love and honor others, Here are two great ways to start.

Greetings – Children often don’t know how to handle an ordinary greeting in a way that honors the people they are speaking with. This can create some awkward situations and establish an unfortunate comfort level with disrespect. Teaching children how to properly greet someone else can go a long way toward establishing a sense of another person’s value in God’s eyes.

Help your child understand that when greeted, he should give the other person his eye contact, a friendly face, and a verbal response. Teach this to your child and practice it at home. A naturally outgoing child will love doing this! He may also follow up his greeting with additional conversation or questions, which can be great!

A more introverted child may cower when greeted, but you can help her understand that the standard of honoring others applies to all of us – those who enjoy meeting new people and those who are frightened by it. Shyness doesn’t excuse us from giving another person the love and respect he is due.

For a younger child, around the ages of 2-5, the verbal response could be a simple, “Hello.” An older child can begin to include the name of the person he is greeting and say, “Hello Mr. Smith,” and even ask how he is doing. It’s such a simple thing but so important.

Greetings can be one of the very first ways a child learns to honor others. Eye contact, a smile, and a verbal greeting communicate to another person, “You are valuable.” When you train your child to do this, you are helping him do what is right. You are also helping ease the fear of these social situations. A child who feels equipped can begin to feel more and more confident and less afraid to interact with others.

Interrupting - Another great way to teach your child to honor others is to guide her about how to interrupt politely. Without guidance, children are prone to boldly enter into a conversation between two adults and draw all attention to themselves. If they’re taught that it’s rude to interrupt, they might instead say, “Excuse me” multiple times in an attempt to be polite. However, this is still interrupting and still dishonoring to the adults who are speaking.

It’s great if your child understands that waiting patiently is most polite. If what she wants to share isn’t urgent, she can just wait until you are free to talk. But if she has something urgent to share, she can interrupt discreetly with a touch.

With a touch, she can silently communicate to you that she has something to say as soon as you are free. You’ll know that, as soon as you have an opportunity, your child needs your attention. It’s good to just put your hand on top of hers to let her know you’ve gotten the signal. Interrupting politely is another way for a child to acknowledge the value of another person and to consider others’ needs before her own.

Handling of Conflict - You can also teach your child about respect by giving him the language to use in a situation of conflict. Start by making it clear that words are the way to go, rather than a physical outburst against a person or object. Second, words that communicate (for example, “I still wanted to use that”) and express (“I felt sad when you…”) – not attack – will help the situation. Words that hurt (like “I’m not your friend anymore”) or accuse or threaten will not make things better. And respect involves listening as much as speaking.

Respect for Creation - Finally, Christian parents can also teach their children about respecting God’s creation. Encouraging environmental stewardship and a deep reverence for the world around us is an extension of the respect we owe to the Creator Himself. By instilling a sense of responsibility for the environment we live in and the living creatures around us, we help our children live out their faith in a tangible way.

Teaching our children about respect is not just about adhering to societal norms but is deeply rooted in our Christian faith. By doing so, we not only align our parenting with biblical principles, but also nurture strong character, healthy relationships, and a sense of responsibility in our children. As Christian parents, we have a sacred duty to raise children who embody the love and respect that Christ taught, enabling them to shine as lights in a world in desperate need.

Xo,

Christie

Knowing When a Break Is the Exact Nurturing Your Homeschool Family Needs

Homeschooling is hard. Hopefully, we all went into it knowing that would be the case. However, sometimes, we might be so challenged that we become overwhelmed, even tempted to give up.

A homeschooling parent is one who has made a choice to do something selfless. Yet, there are so many voices (even within the homeschool community sometimes) telling us we need to focus more on ourselves. When we’re challenged or frustrated, we may be surrounded by thoughts and influences, some leading us to persevere and push through the hard times no matter what, and others encouraging us to just take some time off from homeschooling, drop a subject, or abandon the goals we set months ago.

Sometimes a break or a lighter load is just what’s needed, but not always. How do you know which is right?

Here are some questions that might help.

Are we doing things that are more of a burden than a blessing? How much return are we receiving on our time investments?

Maybe you’re doing something because you thought it would be valuable, worthwhile for your family (e.g. additional sports or fine arts training for your child, additional occupational or learning therapy for your child, a second – or third or fourth – weekly Bible study). Now, you’re finding that you aren’t reaping much reward from that thing - for yourself or others - though you’re making significant sacrifices to make it happen. This may be a good indication that a break is needed, time away to consider whether this thing is serving you or your family well or maybe if you’ve become a slave to it.

Did we jump into this obligation without praying or thinking?

Did we say "yes" without considering the cost, without asking God if it was the right thing to do? Did we agree to do it out of guilt or because someone with whom we tend to compare ourselves is doing it?

It’s so easy to think, “It’s good, so of course I should do it!” This may apply to volunteering somewhere new or stepping into leadership to fill a void left by another. However, motivations like these can easily lead to the trap of over-commitment. If you’re naturally guilt-prone, know that you are especially vulnerable to this! It can lead to physical, mental, and spiritual exhaustion that can affect the health of your body, your family, and your faith. If you think you may be in a state of over-commitment, a break may well be needed so you can consider the big picture and and pray about what to step back from.

Is it hard?

Is this thing that I researched, considered, prayed about, and proceeded with turning out to take more work and more time than I planned? Is it driving me to the edge of my capabilities?

Please know, challenged (and sometimes discouraged) homeschool mom, this is not necessarily an indication that you should take a break. If it’s hard, that doesn’t mean you’re failing or falling short. It more likely means you’re right on track!

Truthfully, it’s supposed to be hard! We are raising and educating the next generation, for goodness’ sake! We’re dealing with immaturity, sin nature and character issues (in us and our children), personality conflicts, temptations, obstacles and distractions of many kinds, difficult academic concepts, etc., etc., etc. Making this whole home education thing happen will take perseverance, no doubt.

Today’s society seems to lean more toward responding to challenges by saying, “I just need to give myself permission to take a break.” Sometimes, this is just the right thing. But often, challenges call for perseverance.

Dear homeschool mom, remember that our time is very limited. Remember those things you value, the things that led you to homeschool in the first place. The hopes we have for our children’s academic and spiritual development and the relationships we hope to build with them don’t allow for a whole lot of time off.

Rather than letting our challenges tempt us toward the nearest spa, let’s allow them to drive us to our knees.

Let’s trust our Father to give us the rest we need (Matt 11:28) but also the leading to form our schedules wisely and the strength to persevere. Knowing we are called to this kingdom work, let’s “run with perseverance the race marked out for us” (Phil 3:13-14). Great reward awaits at the end!

Xo,

Christie

P.S. - I came across a thoughtful entry on this topic from another blogger. Check it out here!

Getting to the Heart of the Matter – Teaching Literary Theme in Your Homeschool

So many of the concepts we teach our children have implications far beyond the obvious application. This is certainly the case with literary theme, one of my favorite things to teach.

Early on in the subject of reading, students are focused on developing fluency and comprehension skills. In later elementary or early middle school, however, students should start learning to look beyond the events in the story and identify the ideas communicated by those events.

Most importantly, students can begin to look for the story’s theme – the author’s purpose for writing the story, the message it communicates.

The theme is the central idea of the work, an idea that communicates some “truth” about life. I include quotation marks around the word truth because you may not see as truth what the author represents as truth! In fact, this is a very important aspect of a Christian homeschool – learning to identify what the author is saying through the story and also evaluate that information.

While there are some excellent stories that are not very theme-driven, most stories will have a theme - a central truth that compelled the author to write. This theme will always have some connection to the author’s worldview. Once your child has studied worldviews, it can be worthwhile to identify which worldview(s) a story’s theme is compatible with.

But when it comes to basics is my recommended method for teaching literary theme in your homeschool.

1. Ask, “What is this story about?”

Don’t let your child answer this question with a plot summary. Instead, encourage him to consider the conflicts, characters, repeated elements, imagery, allusions, and other literary devices and elements to determine the ideas lying beneath and within the plot.

Then, fill in the blank of the following statement with one or two words: This story is about __________.

Here are some examples: This story is about – greed, selfishness, love, powerful kindness, loneliness, fear, or growing up.

In a good story, there will likely be several valid options for filling in the blank. Have your child list all the ones that come to mind and then choose the one that represents the story’s most important and central idea. Make sure it’s an idea that runs throughout the story – all the way through the climax – not just in certain parts.

2. Ask, “What is the author saying about that in this story?”

Have your child state this in a complete sentence. This is his theme statement! Read on for some examples.

3. Check your literary theme statement.

Ask your child to revisit the story’s characters and plot. Does her statement seem accurate? Also, make sure she hasn’t used a cliché, even if it seems fitting. She should be able to dig a little deeper and arrive at a statement that is more original and specific.

For the classic short story, “Gift of the Magi,” a student might fill in the blank from number one above with the words generosity, love, and poverty. These would all be valid! However, poverty wouldn’t be the best ultimate choice. The story is really making a statement about love.

When asked, “What is the author saying about love in ‘Gift of the Magi’?” your child might arrive at a theme statement such as this –

Even in the face of poverty, love seeks to be generous.

This statement gets to the heart of what the story expresses about love and sacrifice.

If a student had filled in poverty in step one, he might have come up with a theme statement such as this –

Poverty produces sorrow.

While he could find evidence in the story to back up this statement, it really doesn’t get to

the main idea communicated in the story. Neither does "Love conquers all," which is a cliché. Is it applicable? Sure! But a reader can do way better.

You can see how nuanced this process is, especially for a young person who is new to it! Taking time to “think out loud” with your child, ask thought-provoking questions, and discuss ideas can really help him develop this skill.

While working through this process, he can also learn the value of wrestling with thoughts and ideas to peel back layers and arrive at the vital core. It’s not supposed to be easy! It’s vigorous mental exercise.

That's why literature is such an important area of study. It's rigorous brain exercise that also connects to the heart and provides opportunities to apply spiritual truth. It can make us more empathetic and more in tune with our humanity. What an amazing subject!

Xo,

Christie