It's certainly a tough challenge for moms - juggling all the duties of life and parenting without letting the vitally important but non-urgent things trickle to the bottom of the priority list. Unfortunately, those things that can get lost in the shuffle include listening to and truly connecting with our children. It can often seem somewhat easy to fake it by sending signals that we’re listening, even though our eyes and mind are really elsewhere, but does this really work? It turns out that listening and heart-to-heart connection are vital for both relationship building and discipleship, so it’s worth fighting through the daily slog to set them at the top of the priority list – even above some of the urgent things.
Let's dive into some strategies for doing this.
Prioritize Quality Time
A crucial strategy for being present is to know the individual preferences of your children when it comes to connection and to make time for those things to happen. It may be sharing stories, cooking together, sharing a cup of tea, playing a game, taking a walk, kicking a soccer ball, engaging in meaningful conversations, or any number of other things. Knowing that it’s not a one-size-fits-all kind of thing and meeting each of your children regularly in their preferred place will help you make space for relating with open hearts, building trust and strengthening bonds with your children.
Embrace Daily Spiritual Practices
Guiding the spiritual formation of her children is a parent's great privilege. Enjoying daily spiritual rhythms with your children not only helps them establish habits that will serve them well in the future but also provides a connection point for you to openly share joys and struggles in your faith. This sharing fosters a deep and vulnerable connection founded on the most important thing you have in common – a love for Christ.
Read from a good storybook Bible, pray and sing together, discuss the teachings of Jesus, and share how to live out the truth you’re learning from Scripture. These moments of reflection will help your children grow in their faith and character and allow you to support and encourage them in their faith journey.
Listen Actively
Whenever possible – and especially when your child is sharing something from the heart - listen actively. This includes eye contact, clarifying questions, responses, and affirmation. When your child shares thoughts, concerns, or questions, give her your undivided attention. Listen without judgment, and you’ll create a safe space for your children to open up, fostering trust and healthy communication.
Set Your Own Boundaries with Devices
Our children are not the only ones who can benefit from restrictions on their screen time. We carry the ultimate distraction in our pockets all day long every day. Think about and decide how much time you want to give to scrolling and when you want to do that. Honor your children by reserving down-time with devices for certain times and places and not allowing them to interfere with your opportunities to connect with them.
Set Boundaries with Love
As a Christian parent, it's important to set boundaries rooted in love. Clearly communicate your expectations and rules, always explaining the "why" behind them. This approach helps your children understand the importance of following guidelines while feeling loved and supported. As they get older, engage them in determining what boundaries are appropriate so that the household rules are not just something imposed on them, but something they have ownership of.
Be a Role Model
Children often learn more from what they see rather than what they hear. As a Christian parent, strive to be a role model by living out your faith daily with your children. Demonstrate love, kindness, patience, and forgiveness, reflecting the values of Christ in your actions and interactions. When you have a chance to live out Scriptural truth, include your children where you can and talk to them about the God-honoring choices you make. Bring them along as you walk with Jesus.
Pray for Your Children
I know of no more powerful tool in Christian parenting than prayer. Regularly pray for your children's well-being, their faith journey, and their character development. Let them know that you pray for them, and regularly ask if there is anything they'd like you to pray for. And don’t just pray for them but with them!
Support Their Passions
Each child is unique with his or her own interests and passions. As a present mom, support your children's talents and interests, even if they differ from your own. Encourage and equip them to pursue their interests and develop their skills. These may well become the very things that allow them the privilege of working for the Kingdom of God in a unique and valuable way!
Being a present mom in the context of Christian parenting involves more than just meeting the physical and emotional needs of your children. It means nurturing their faith, character, and well-being while fostering a deep connection with Christ and with you. By following these parenting tips, you can navigate the challenges and joys of motherhood while strengthening your family's spiritual foundation. Remember, as you strive to be a present mom, you're shaping the future of your children and the world they will one day influence with their faith and love.
Xo,
Christie
P.S. - For more ideas on really connecting with your child, check out this post!
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