So many things can make it challenging for us to truly connect with our children. As Christian parents, we understand the importance of nurturing our children's hearts and building a strong family bond, but sometimes it's still not easy. One wonderful way to do this is by embracing the "hot seat" approach—a unique, thoughtful, and engaging way to open a window into your child 's heart. Let’s explore the concept of the "hot seat" and provide a list of questions designed to strengthen your parenting journey and foster deep connections within your family.
The Hot Seat: What Is It?
The "hot seat" is a simple yet powerful technique that encourages open and honest communication within your family. It's a dedicated time when one family member, often a child, takes the center stage while the rest of the family listens, asks questions, and shows genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings.
Family “hot seat” time has a number of benefits.
First, it’s a great way to give your child the gift of your undivided attention. By asking a question and then actively listening, your child receives the message that you care, you’re interested in her thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and you consider her worth listening to.
If we’re not intentional about this, our children can, sadly, believe the opposite is true, just because we often find ourselves drawn in multiple directions throughout the typical day. We may be listening to a child’s story while we’re mentally planning the next couple meals and also moving laundry from the washer to the dryer. Focused attention on our child may be more rare than we'd like it to be!
Second, it gives your child a chance to practice sharing, which is such a vital element of relationship building. Face-to-face in-depth conversation has become somewhat of a lost skill in today’s environment. It’s well worth the effort to help your child learn to enjoy connecting with loved ones through sharing and listening.
Third, your child gets to develop the skill of listening as others share their hearts. The give-and-receive element of “hot seat” time is so valuable. You’ll likely often find out things you didn’t already know, even though you’re conversing with the people you spend the most time with. This can bring both delight and also an appreciation for the complexity of humans. We should all learn to understand that there’s almost certainly more to any person than meets the eye.
So bring on the “hot seat” questions as well as the listening ears, eye contact, follow-up questions, affirmation, genuine interest and love. In the process, you’ll gain insight into your child's inner world and create a safe space for open conversations about faith, emotions, and life in general.
Here are some great hot seat questions for Christian families. Most of these should work well for children aged 5 all the way through the teen years. Click here to get these and more as a free printable!
1. What is your favorite thing to do when you have free time?
2. What is something that makes you feel really close to God?
3. Can you share a Bible verse or story that has a special meaning to you and explain why it's significant?
4. What's one thing you appreciate about our family?
5. Is there anything you're curious or uncertain about regarding God?
6. Who is a friend that means a lot to you and what do you like about that person?
7. What is something you really hope happens to you in the future?
8. What's the best part of your day at school?
9. What's something you find challenging or stressful in your daily life?
10. Share a recent experience that made you happy or proud.
11. What's a hobby or activity you'd like to try but haven't yet?
12. What's something you wish we did more often as a family?
13. What is something that really makes you feel loved?
14. What's your favorite book, and why do you like it so much?
15. What's something that you wish you could change in the world?
16. What do you like to do when you're feeling upset or angry to help calm down?
17. What's your favorite family meal, and why do you enjoy it?
18. Can you share a time when you helped someone and how it made you feel?
19. What's your favorite type of music or favorite song, and why do you like it?
20. Do you have a favorite place in our home or neighborhood? What makes it special?
The "hot seat" approach is a wonderful tool that can help us understand our children's hearts and build stronger family bonds. By using these hot seat questions, you can create a space where your child feels heard, loved, and supported. Remember, parenting is a journey, and the family is the heart of this journey—embrace every moment, every question, and every opportunity to grow together as a family rooted in faith and love.
Xo,
Christie
PS - If you're looking for another way to connect with your child, check out our Fall-themed Printable Encouragement Cards in the Savvy Shop!
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