Centuries after the Israelites were given the Ten Commandments to direct them in how to live, a (likely tricky) lawyer asked Jesus what was the greatest commandment, and he said, “'Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.' And the second (greatest commandment) is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the law and prophets hang on these two commandments (Matthew 22:37-40 NIV).”
The Jewish people had come to devote themselves to studying the Mosaic law, memorizing it, and expanding it. And here Jesus is saying, basically, if you just commit yourself to these two commandments, you’ll naturally find yourselves walking in righteousness and obedience to the law because all the others hang on these.
This gives us tremendous clarity for our parenting. It gives us a standard we can apply to all our instruction. The focus of it should be, first, to teach our children to love the Lord and then to love those around them. We’ll be coming back to the concept of loving others, but in today’s post, we’ll focus on the importance of helping our children develop a love for God and his word.
As we disciple and train our children, we must keep in mind that the greatest motivation for doing right is an affection for and gratitude toward the God who created and saved us. It starts with salvation and a relationship with Christ and grows out of an increasing understanding of and appreciation for all he’s done for us.
He loved us first, and we can show our love for him by joyfully serving when the opportunity arises, willingly sacrificing when asked, and choosing to glorify Him rather than gratify ourselves. This is a state of the heart that we can’t create in our children, but we can model it, teach it, and pray for it.
Even with very young children, this teaching can start with the biblical concept of obedience.
Jesus said in John, Chapter 14, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”
An important part of our daily lives with our children is modeling a genuine love for Christ and joy in him that expresses itself in the pursuit of righteousness. Our children need to see in us obedience from the heart while we are teaching it to them. We can model this obedience by living out the same principles from Scripture we are teaching as we disciple them. Here’s a convicting truth to meditate on: we cannot teach well what we do not model.
We need to teach our children to obey long before they can begin to understand the deeper truths behind obedience. Your three-year-old won’t fully understand that she is glorifying God by following your direction to pick up her toys. But as children grow, these truths from Scripture can penetrate their lives and give meaning to the biblical standards you set in your home. Eventually, your children can come to understand that their desire to act in a God-glorifying way carries out Jesus’s command from Matthew 5 to “let your light shine before others so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven (Matthew 5:16 ESV).”
In Ephesians, chapter 6, verse 1, Paul refers to the fifth commandment as he instructs, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right (ESV).”
Even with a young toddler in the early stages of learning the simples things - like just learning to stay close to you and keep fingers out of light sockets - you can begin to teach the concept of obedience. Before he or she even understands the words “obedience” or “obey,” it’s good to start using them. Lovingly and gently say to the child struggling against you, “You need to obey Mommy/You need to obey Daddy.”
Familiarize them with the terms which will grow in meaning as they mature and as your times of discipleship lead them toward an understanding of how their obedience shows a love for God and respect for you as their parents.
Obedience is not a very popular word in our culture, but if we fail to see the beauty of obedience and teach it to our children when they are young, we miss two vital opportunities.
We miss the opportunity to lay important groundwork that will make for a more successful, peaceful, and joyful parent-child relationship in future years. Much more importantly, we miss the opportunity to lay a foundation for our children to have a joyfully obedient relationship with God.
They will grow up surrounded by a culture telling them the path to happiness lies in the pursuit of independence, self-empowerment, and self-actualization, all of which - are almost guaranteed to eventually lead to emptiness. Living with a daily experience of the value of obedience can bring lasting joy. Our homes can be places where obedience is shown to be a beautiful, joy-giving thing.
Scripture gives us a great example of a joy-filled, obedient servant of God in King David. David was a man characterized by loving God, his word, and his ways. We know from the Psalms that he meditated on God’s word day and night and that he hid it away in his heart to keep him from sin. He wrote in Psalm 37:4 – "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart (ESV)."
It’s believed that David wrote this Psalm toward the end of his life. He had learned from experience that a heart that delights in God and his ways leads to true joy. John Piper put it this way:
“And so delighting ourselves in the Lord becomes the all-consuming passion of our lives, which means that it shapes the desires of our heart. If you delight yourself in the Lord fully, that conforms your heart to him and, therefore, the promise is going to be true. But it is going to be true like this: He will give you all the desires of your heart that enable you to enjoy him to the full. He will give you all the desires of your heart, which are rooted in and focused on him.
So run to the cross. Find the forgiveness. Enjoy the acceptance. Look at the beauties of the Lord. Be satisfied in him and then let your heart run wild with God-exalting, God-centered desires in this world.”
Parents, as your child grows, you can do nothing better than teach him to love God and his ways and to understand that having a right heart and attitude matter just as much as doing what is right.
For some practical parenting guidance on this, check out Savvy's subsequent post and also the Go Parenting Course. It's designed to bring you helpful, scriptural guidance and encouragement as you disciple your children. I am praying for you and asking God to fully equip you as you model and teach love for him!
Xo,
Christie
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