The Benefits of respectfulness in a society are obvious. O, how our homes, schools, cities, and nation could be vastly improved if we all activated this one character trait on a daily basis!
As parents, we have a profound responsibility to instill this valuable trait in our children. Here are some of the ways it can benefit them and the people around them.
Reduction in conflict
When people treat each other respectfully, differences can be shared, discussed, and appreciated without becoming conflicts.
More productive handling of conflict
Respect is crucial to working through differences of perspective and the conflicts that sometimes result. When children learn to respect differing viewpoints and communicate their own thoughts respectfully, they are better equipped to resolve conflicts peacefully. This skill is invaluable in personal relationships, school, and future workplaces.
Protection from bullies
By teaching your children about respect, you equip them with the tools to recognize and combat bullying behavior. They will be more likely to stand up against bullies, support victims, and report instances of bullying.
Better treatment for all people
Treating others with respect and being curious rather than critical about the ways they are different can help children see and appreciate the beauty in all the different forms of humans God chose to create.
Team spirit
Whether in sports, academics, or anything else, a respectful person is an asset to a team. Employers value workers who demonstrate respect for colleagues, clients, and company values. By instilling a strong sense of respect in your children, you are helping them build a solid foundation for future success in their careers and personal lives as they become team members who lift others up and maximize a group’s diversity of talents and perspectives for optimal performance.
Correction of a self-centered mindset
Respect helps us share the spotlight with others and avoid the self-centeredness that leads to a lack of empathy and hinders relationships.
Improved ability to learn
A student who respects his teachers has a better relationship with them and a more receptive posture for learning.
Increase of self-respect
Respecting others and understanding that everyone on the planet is of great value makes a child aware of her own value.
What’s more, it’s a two-way street. Showing respect typically results in respectful treatment.
All of these are excellent reasons to teach your child about respect.
But, for Christian parents, the duty to train in this character trait extends beyond the personal and societal benefits. It goes to the core values of our faith.
Truthfully, the root of respect is love.
And Jesus himself told us that, apart from loving God, the greatest thing we can act on in this life is love for those around us.
Christian parents can teach their children valuable lessons about love through the lens of respect. When children learn to value and respect the opinions, feelings, and boundaries of others, they are better equipped to form and maintain positive relationships throughout their lives.
In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, we find a beautiful description of love, which includes patience, kindness, and not being self-seeking. These qualities are closely intertwined with respect and are vital in building strong, Christ-honoring relationships.
All people – those we like, those we don’t, those we agree with and those we don’t, those we easily enjoy, and those who make us uncomfortable – all are created in the image of God. They are of great value to him and “precious in his sight.”
Our treatment of every individual should reflect this. In all circumstances, we are called to live according to Philippians 2:3 (ESV) – Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others (ALL others) more significant than yourselves.
Every day brings us opportunities to apply this in our daily lives. There are countless ways you can teach children to love and honor others, Here are two great ways to start.
Greetings – Children often don’t know how to handle an ordinary greeting in a way that honors the people they are speaking with. This can create some awkward situations and establish an unfortunate comfort level with disrespect. Teaching children how to properly greet someone else can go a long way toward establishing a sense of another person’s value in God’s eyes.
Help your child understand that when greeted, he should give the other person his eye contact, a friendly face, and a verbal response. Teach this to your child and practice it at home. A naturally outgoing child will love doing this! He may also follow up his greeting with additional conversation or questions, which can be great!
A more introverted child may cower when greeted, but you can help her understand that the standard of honoring others applies to all of us – those who enjoy meeting new people and those who are frightened by it. Shyness doesn’t excuse us from giving another person the love and respect he is due.
For a younger child, around the ages of 2-5, the verbal response could be a simple, “Hello.” An older child can begin to include the name of the person he is greeting and say, “Hello Mr. Smith,” and even ask how he is doing. It’s such a simple thing but so important.
Greetings can be one of the very first ways a child learns to honor others. Eye contact, a smile, and a verbal greeting communicate to another person, “You are valuable.” When you train your child to do this, you are helping him do what is right. You are also helping ease the fear of these social situations. A child who feels equipped can begin to feel more and more confident and less afraid to interact with others.
Interrupting - Another great way to teach your child to honor others is to guide her about how to interrupt politely. Without guidance, children are prone to boldly enter into a conversation between two adults and draw all attention to themselves. If they’re taught that it’s rude to interrupt, they might instead say, “Excuse me” multiple times in an attempt to be polite. However, this is still interrupting and still dishonoring to the adults who are speaking.
It’s great if your child understands that waiting patiently is most polite. If what she wants to share isn’t urgent, she can just wait until you are free to talk. But if she has something urgent to share, she can interrupt discreetly with a touch.
With a touch, she can silently communicate to you that she has something to say as soon as you are free. You’ll know that, as soon as you have an opportunity, your child needs your attention. It’s good to just put your hand on top of hers to let her know you’ve gotten the signal. Interrupting politely is another way for a child to acknowledge the value of another person and to consider others’ needs before her own.
Handling of Conflict - You can also teach your child about respect by giving him the language to use in a situation of conflict. Start by making it clear that words are the way to go, rather than a physical outburst against a person or object. Second, words that communicate (for example, “I still wanted to use that”) and express (“I felt sad when you…”) – not attack – will help the situation. Words that hurt (like “I’m not your friend anymore”) or accuse or threaten will not make things better. And respect involves listening as much as speaking.
Respect for Creation - Finally, Christian parents can also teach their children about respecting God’s creation. Encouraging environmental stewardship and a deep reverence for the world around us is an extension of the respect we owe to the Creator Himself. By instilling a sense of responsibility for the environment we live in and the living creatures around us, we help our children live out their faith in a tangible way.
Teaching our children about respect is not just about adhering to societal norms but is deeply rooted in our Christian faith. By doing so, we not only align our parenting with biblical principles, but also nurture strong character, healthy relationships, and a sense of responsibility in our children. As Christian parents, we have a sacred duty to raise children who embody the love and respect that Christ taught, enabling them to shine as lights in a world in desperate need.
Xo,
Christie
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